Death Cafe write-up: July 2015
Another Death Café has come and gone, yet echoes of the discussion resound in my mind and being as do the impressions of the afternoon. It seemed to me that there was what I term ‘high energy’ palpably present in the atmosphere, and I wondered if this was a combination of an unusual amount of noise coming from behind closed doors in other areas of Lazy Bones or perhaps a mix of anticipation, excitement or possibly anxiety? It is not easy to talk about death, and emotions can rise to the surface, sometimes unexpectedly, when we do.
Conversation commenced with my reflection of an email I received from someone enquiring about attending the Death Café which also mentioned a recent personal experience. The enquirer had visited my Ways of Being website and was somewhat taken aback by the terms she had encountered; the returning deceased, after-death contact, spiritual beings in a physical body. Then she mentioned that in conversation with another she had used the word ‘spirit’ which had been augmented with the word ‘imagination’. So in effect, her lived experience of non-material phenomena was relegated to something which was her imagination, the implication being that such things were not real.
Unfortunately this is an all too common experience, and many people have relayed similar accounts to me. I recall when I spoke with a Minister from one of the recognized religions about my experiences of the after-death contact between myself and my husband (which occurred after his death) I was told that this was considered to be a form of possession and that I would be considered possessed.
How do we understand and process sudden death? This was a philosophical question which generated a lot of discussion and reflection with the conclusion being that because people are being kept alive longer, and though death of course occurs, it doesn’t seem so prevalent, which is almost a contradiction in itself because people are dying every second of every minute of every day and of every night. I wonder, is it unexpected death or expected death that is difficult to process, or if we drill down so to speak, is it death itself, irrespective of timing, that is difficult to comprehend?
We also learnt that the Australian Victorian Legislative Council had resolved that the Legal and Social Issues Legislation Committee inquire into end of life choices, and that a call for submissions was being circulated. A number of public hearings have been scheduled and since Death Café occurring on 27th July, submissions have now been made public. Dying with Dignity NSW are also currently advocating for the implementation of a national database of registered Advanced Care Directives. This was widely approved by everyone present and prompted the comment that there was a big difference between the philosophical notion of an Advanced Care Directive and its practical implementation.
As always, discussion seemed to come back to the spiritual aspects of death and dying. The presence of spiritual beings at the bedside, unusual phenomena occurring at the time of death and afterward, what happens to us as spiritual beings after we die? It was an unusually large group of people who attended and while some chose to speak, others were content to listen, absorb and reflect within themselves on what was taking place around them. And this is exactly what Death Café is all about.
